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Straight Man

Hey, fellow hip-hop heads and dirty trappers! I wrote and produced a rap song last night/this morning. This was my first time producing a song and rapping but I think it’s pretty iconic. I wanted to reclaim the masculinity that’s associated with the rap scene that’s overwhelming pop music today. Why does it have to be straight? Mama this is gay masculinity.

“Straight Man” written, performed, and produced by yours truly

I take on a hypermasculine character in this song to satirize the toxic masculinity that prevails in this genre of music. There’s also this crazy huge population of gay men that are overly wrapped up in their masculinity performance; you see a lot of things on Grindr/dating apps like “masc for masc” or guys who are “straight acting.” Bruh. If you were straight acting you wouldn’t be looking to suck dick right now, Jerry. I think a lot of closeted men put up a hypermasculine front to compensate for their internalized homophobia. Shit, a lot of out men do this. So homophobia is rampant even in the gay community. Sis, it’s not right.

It all stems from this notion that straight men are masculine and gay men are feminine (and WOMAN = BAD). This song is my protest.

I’m definitely considering making a music video for this and having it play in one of those dark little gallery cubicles.

Lyrics

dick pics, armpits, gay shit

(chorus)

monochrome aesthetic for my instagram

hair done nails done spray tan

i’m so gay i’m a straight man

suck so much dick that it’s straight man

pop a lot of pills and they all red

fuck a twink and finish on his forehead

i’m so gay i’m a straight man

i’m a big boy i only fuck real men

I’m so gay that i play sports

only so that i can wear short shorts

in the locker room i go hardcore

looking for a man who got them abs like a washboard

i’m so gay i like chikcen wings

watching football games with an ipa

got the real bros on either side of me

touchdown chicken aint the only meat im gonna eat

got a backwards cap

and a grindr pic

in my new jockstrap

im a wide reciever

but if homie cute

ima throw it to him

like a quarterback

i’m so gay that it’s ironic

got a new tote bag and i rock it

i’m iconic

only like capitalism that says gucci on it

and i got that white boy sound

never trust a straight cause i’m straight outta gaytown

Chorus

wake up early just to hit the gym

arms much bigger than my cousin Jim’s

pump iron take a lot of supplements

dumbbells are my doctor and my medicine

dick so big i’m a folktale

homie sippin on it like a fucking cocktail

you know i fucked a lotta bitches and they all male

i’m so gay that i broke the fucking kinsey scale

uterus? clitoris?

why you so mysterious

i dont wanna fuck up in a hole that gets a period

i just wanna hang out with the boys and eat tortilla chips

all my homies changed their name to george cause they so curious

weekends when we get it poppin homie

take it all off cause this is a private party

all my boys taking turns pinball

so many studs in this house need some drywall

gay boys

straight boys

i dont care

we can call it whatever that pretty mouth prefer

you know real straight men only suck dick

haven’t touched a pussy since the day that i came out it

Chorus

Outro

4 replies on “Straight Man”

I love, love, love this Matty! This line is just gorgeous poetry:
“you know i fucked a lotta bitches and they all male”
So beautifully savage and feminist. Love it.

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