In the past one year, I was unhappy everyday.
It seems that I had a life which was not so bad, but I always suddenly felt depressed and desperate without any reason. In February, I started a one month psychological counseling and was recommended a book by my counseler called Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power. It is a book writes a specific kind of personality called “highly sensitive people”, or “empaths”. They “see life through the eyes of compassion and caring. But they’re also the favored prey of “vampires” who feed off empaths’ energy and disrupt their lives on every level—physical, emotional, and financial.”
And I was exactly the people who were called highly sensitive people, and was being absorbed the energy from a man, the Dodging energy vampire, for the past one year. And I ended up the relationship even I felt very grieved, and decided to study this specific personality.
Getting to know “Highly Sensitive People:
🤖 Dodging energy vampire – highly sensitive people relationship
If you have ever been in a relationship with someone, your lover, friend or parents, and pay out your emotion, energy and money, but you receive exhaustion and frustration or even feel out of mind rather than receiving anything positive, then you may be having the relationship with a dodging energy vampire.
There are several traits that make empaths become the prey of “vampires”:
Firstly, highly sensitive people are born with the ability of absorbing other people’s negative energy. They can experience the deep-settled pain of others. This trait will make people around them feel noticed and seen, and this is what makes vampires smell something to begin sucking.
Secondly, empaths are accustomed to to conceiving their real feeling, blending themselves into others, and even distorting their true identity. This makes them unwilling to believe that it is true when their emotions are hurt. They have the dissoance of cognition.
Thirdly, the inherent kindness makes them feel that people with personality disorders are worthy and can be saved. Those who can’t save them are just do not the patience and wisdom that empaths have.
For vampires, the reason that enables them to manipulate empaths is the wound in the life of empaths. They are well versed in what empaths desire most in their lives, such as love, attention, and recognition. They naturally consume the efforts of empaths, because empaths believe that as long as they continue to pay in interpersonal relationships, they can get the attention and love of others. When empaths start to put down their guard and devote themselves to the relationship with vampires, vampires begin to discredit the empaths’ personality, the things they do, and dreams they have.
All of these are deliberately done by vampires.
🤖 How the good personality become the culprit of their injuries?
The highly sensitive people have good traits that used by evil. But the culprits of empaths’ injuries are more than the “vampires”
Being ashamed and guilty — two obstacles preventing highly sensitive people from having a rich life and a stable emotion.
The childhood trauma — build their belief system. They are often told in their childhood that there is a problem with behaviors, so they feel guilty about it, and believe that they are flawed and not worthy of the best thing in the world.
Trauma from ancestors – presents in their language, behavior, fear and other physical symptoms we could not explain.
🤖 Self-rescuing guide for empaths
Recognize vampires and stay away from them – The label of vampire’s behavior pattern includes psychopath, narcissistic borderline personality, or antisocial behavior tendency. These personalities are collectively referred to as type B personalities. They have the characteristics of dramatic, overly emotional, or unpredictable thinking and behavior. The reasons why they become this are more than traumatic childhood. They are born like personality disorder just like the empaths do not choose they become highly sensitive people. Therefore, the empaths have to assume the “vampires” will never change and set a boundary between them.
Be confident, self-loving and self-respecting: – The only way for highly sensitive people to heal themselves deeply is to be confident, self-love, and to find their own value. Empaths are used to self-abased, so they are often attracted by “vampires” with glamorous appearance. Because they make up for the “missing part” in themselves. Therefore, the empaths do not need to wait for other people’s recognition, they can build their own confidence to change their self-abased.
My self-healing process
Under my therapist’s instruction, I designed myself a self-healing plan. It is a process of recovering from trauma and disturbance that is motived by the individual and guided by instinct. Our consciousness can both positively and negatively affect our behavior. And the behavior can in turn affect consciousness. Based on that, I made a series of actions to support building my awareness, in order to heal my disorder of cognition and the absence of faith.
👁 Face Recording
From the beginning to the end of my counseling, I recorded my face every day to see how my face changed while I was building my confidence and cognition. Because people’s personality and emotion always reflect on their faces. When my consultation gradually worked and my cognition gradually returned, I would feel a great sense of accomplishment as I watched my face improve day by day. And even on my way of getting better, there were still some declining of my state which could be shown on my face. It was apparently shown that there were two kinds of personalities on the first day and last day.
👁 Emotion recording
During the process of my self-healing, I recorded my emotions once I had a sense of my feeling and my life.Always pay attention to the changes in emotions. Because I need to exactly catch the bad feeling, even if it was slight, and deal with it in time.
👁 Get rid of children trauma
As my psychological counseling and self-healing process going on, I inevitably recalled many childhood experiences. I do have a family full of happiness. But it cannot be covered that everyone has different degrees of childhood trauma. The childhood experience has constructed our personality from the very beginning. I remember that when I was a child, my feelings were often ignored by my parents. I was treated unfairly by my classmates and teachers, and no one helped me to solve it. In addition, the helpless feelings that several big physical traumas brought to me also created my introverted and low self-esteem character. However, I am already a grown-up, and I have the ability to get rid of the personality defects brought about by childhood trauma. I am no longer the weak me that I used to be.